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12-Mar-2020 05:29

You may even come to enjoy some of the stranger facets of our whiteness, and might even, occasionally, feel the need to stick up for the straight white male patriarchy when out with your black friends. It probably means you’re in love, and that, is never black and white.

If ‘The Hunger Games’ has Jennifer Lawrence, then ‘The Woke Games’ has Jesse Williams.

;-)First off, if you’re a black woman thinking of dating a white man, I applaud your patience.

If you expect us to punch all of them immediately, then we may run out of friends quickly, or be arrested.

The white man that does not get annoyed at you when you spend nine hours in the hair salon and instead brings you a sandwich at the mid point because you’re worried that that bitch Shanice, (the stylist who is doing your hair that you don’t like even though you waited three weeks for the appointment with the woman who runs the company from her own house but she had a childcare issue) will burn your roots on purpose if you try to order a Deliveroo. Try to contain your rage at the injustice when you discover that our white man hair can be styled and assembled in about fourteen seconds, and when we know this, and don’t even bother to get ready until you’re putting on your shoes by the door.

Don’t be offended when we start referring to the undisposed-of, different coloured used hair extensions that live in a bag under the sink as ‘Cousin It’ or ‘the family pet’.

This is a sign we are becoming more comfortable with you.

Don’t be surprised if we don’t ask to ‘touch your hair’.

We may not speak your language when something that to us seems like normal conversation is, to you, the height of white, male, patricarcical assholery.