The problem with dating


01-Jun-2020 19:46

I just block ignorant guys now.”‘Transartist’ is just one of the many trans men using Grindr, Scruff, Mister or other gay dating apps.

While most users will know the treacherous and dirty-picture-filled waters these apps provide, those who identify as transgender are lucky to find anybody to treat them as more than an exotic specimen or a self-help book.

The digital dating sphere can prove tricky, and bruising, for the trans user.

One Grindr user, ‘Leapolitan,’ a trans woman who has been using queer apps and websites since before her transition, sent me an archive of conversations with men who talked to her in ways that varied from condescending to downright ludicrous, including one man whose opening gambit was to call her an unsexy witch.

Grindr denied the claims, but users still found that references to being trans on their profile were blocked in their profile descriptions.

CEO Joel Simkhai said: “Under no circumstances do we delete/ban/censor transgendered users.

We have thousands of users who identify themselves as transgendered and they are welcome members of the Grindr community.

I am disappointed that you would post an article like this based on what looks like an anecdotal and inaccurate report from one user.”Carl Sandler, who founded Mister in 2012, previously founded and worked at

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online dating after breakup

Grindr introduced the feature themselves in October the same year and called it ‘tribes.’ Among the options for ‘jock’, ‘poz’, ‘leather’ or ‘twink’ are options to identifiy ‘trans’/’transgender’ on Grindr and Scruff respectively.

But understanding the difficulty of that situation and having compassion for it is part of our obligation as human beings and participants in this subculture and community.”Grindr may have received a lot of flack in the past in regards to its support of trans users, but to Simkhai, Grindr is not about cultivating a community forum.



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