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The Easterner will think the Westerner only wants to sleep with him/her and doesn’t want an actual relationship.Since we in the West use kissing as an expression of romantic intent and as a stepping stone to building a relationship, it can be especially confusing and frustrating.In Western dating one would only tell someone “I love you” after being boyfriend and girlfriend for a good amount of time.One says those words only with someone they feel they want to spend the rest of their lives with.Initial dating, or the lead up to dating, always begins in a group.You go out with mutual friends, or a group of your friends and a group of her friends together.
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The use of kokuhaku is also a bit of a culture shock for Westerners.
I’ve included my thoughts as a Westerner on Japanese dating culture for that reason.
Virgin or veteran, I feel for any Westerner or Easterner who dates or aspires to date inter-culturally this is worth a read. You might just understand the other half a little better after this.
Love is a very powerful word and concept in English.
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Telling someone “I love you” in such a manner as kokuhaku is consequently very serious.I would love more input from the experiences of others.
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