Dating woman going through divorce
Is his idea of a relationship to be a lazy slug and mooch off his lover?Can you mentally compare how he is now with how you perceive him to have been just a few months or years ago when the marriage crumbled? You will be so afraid of the Unknown that you will reason with yourself that even though you are miserable, you at least are comfortable, and that you can endure your unhappy marriage.You will try to convince yourself this, although in your heart of hearts you know that it isn’t true.With the “slow it down warning” emblazoned on the relationship, let’s look at the possible pitfalls your man presents.The first question that must be answered is: Why is he getting a divorce and what is the timeline?Find out what you can about the timeline of how and why it ended. In his discussions of his divorce, you should be able to see her side of the story at least a little and observe the habits of his that angered her.There are habits that carry serious ramifications and others that are of little to no consequence.
Listen carefully to what he says about the judge’s rulings; the law is based on reasonable expectations.
If he brings up conspiracy theories or convoluted logic, these are signs of a paranoid manipulator.
If he is happy to see things going along at a predictable pace, this is a man who does not relish conflict, and who also does not back down from seeing a task through – quite a good catch no matter what his recent circumstances have been.
But you will tell yourself lies and reason with yourself that you shouldn’t split—for the kids, for the finances, etc. The rollercoaster and complexity of emotions you will feel when the decision is made to separate is unlike anything you have ever experienced.
You will bargain with yourself because you are scared. The grief, the pain, the confusion, the overwhelming, the fear, the desperation of wanting to be loved after your spouse is gone.
If he puts pressure on you to allow him to move in with you – especially if the source of his rent is dubious – follow the advice of one strong woman’s grandmother: “don’t fatten frogs for snakes” …