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"His wife said, 'I remember when I went through that,'" Sherven says. She could offer a different perspective by virtue of her seniority." If an older woman offers wisdom and experience, a younger man offers new ideas, particularly about gender roles, says Diane Smith, 44, a registered nurse in Urbana, Ill., who is married to a man 14 years her junior."I find men my age still looking for the wife that is supposed to take care of them," she says.They're in a committed relationship and very much in love.She's 75 and a retired pediatrician in good health; he's 55 and continues to work."The older person is going to have less energy eventually and may not be interested in exploring new things.
Olivia Rogers (not her real name) was a successful doctor, separated from her husband and the mother of four teenagers. "I never asked her age," says Nussbaum, a software developer in San Francisco. It didn't matter to me because she was young of mind and spirit." In fact, she was 55 and quite convinced that, at 35, he was far too young for her.The most romantic question, according to Sherven, is "Can you teach me who you are?" Asking that can help bridge the gap brought about by the age difference.From the moment Jack and Olivia met, they couldn't stop talking. "The age difference was always an inhibitor for her," he says.
"She figured this was never going to last." Twenty years later, they're still together.
And sexual compatibility can endure, says Jack Nussbaum, even as the woman moves toward old age.