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We ordered coffee, and decided to drink our coffees while strolling through the farmer’s market next door. He’d just stopped teaching so he could be a Ph D student (Philosophy) at another Ivy League University (Penn).We walked the length of the farmer’s market, and when we reached the end, he asked if I wanted to talk more. After an absolutely miserable conversation where he humblebragged about his university (he mocked shame when he told me he’d gone to Harvard), he then started to tell me about volunteering for Arthur Ashe and how inspiring that was.I accepted, and that’s where everything went wrong. The movie was one of those free movies-in-the-park, and it just so happened to be Spongebob Squarepants and the park was full of children. On top of that, he only packed a very small blanket and asked why I hadn’t brought a blanket for myself (um, because I thought we were going to a theater?For dinner, we went to Ikea for a platter of Swedish meatballs. ).• A guy said how great it was that I was a “mommy,” and when I explained that I was more a mom than a mommy, and a bit about my parenting philosophy about trying to make my then-young son more independent, he corrected me. “That’s the gift you got when you had your son.” Not only was he totally infantilizing me with his gross Ronny Reagan virgin-mother bullshit, and presuming to explain for me my place in the world (without having met me) but he wasn’t fucking listening.I kept making, “oh that’s nice,” “okay,” sort of comments and he just kept singing louder and louder. When I got home, I had an e-mail from him saying that we didn’t have any “chemistry.” Chemistry, really? It was the only thing he talked about, no exaggeration, for 70% of the date.The Super-Speed Dater• We were supposed to meet at a coffee shop at 3pm. He asked me what I do creatively and I told him (succinctly) that I obsessively document everything.
It was about killing unicorns (and no he was not being ironic). Captain Pretentious• Dude talked for several hours nonstop about his multi-discipline art project, which was based solely on an experience his father had 40 years ago.She really loved manatees, and eventually she jumped from her boat into the water and landed on a manatee.