Dating an alcoholic man
I’m grateful to my 23 year-old self – for choosing to live consciously – and consciously making a choice.Dating an alcoholic is an individual choice, that isn’t right or wrong, if that person is actively taking the steps to free themselves of the addiction. Whether you are just cooking at home, spending a day at the beach, or meeting friends for board game night—he’s always got to have a drink in his hand.In fact, you have never spent time with him when he hasn’t got some sort of alcoholic beverage at the ready.Here’s the thing, however bad the addiction is now, it’s only going to get worse – unless that person is deeply motivated to make some serious, life changing moves.It’s not up to you to change anyone, and the chances of you ever being able to aren’t so good either.There are people trained in organizing an intervention, which is where you and other persons affected and concerned about the functional alcoholic’s behavior sit down with the alcoholic and express their worries.
Many partners of functional alcoholics get caught up in the drama of the disease and become co-dependent.
They place themselves in the role of a gatekeeper, or therapist, neither of which they are trained for.
And because of the nature of his addiction, it revealed itself slowly. Deep down, I knew from the start that he had a problem. I worried about his safety and what turns the weekend would take.
And if I’m being honest, I knew from the first few days, that this was not where I belonged. Of course, there were some good things, like there always are. Going to any event gave me total anxiety because I knew he’d likely drink too much and embarrass us both.Spending so much of my time crying because of pain I inflicted on myself, because I chose to stay where I had no place being.